Blood Tainted Memories
by mikkimouse14
Summary: I watched her last breath. Heard her last words, and held her hand as she made the last feeble movement that she would make in this life. What will Jacob Black do when his past resurfaces and threatens the new life he has built? AH AU
1. A Past Life

I watched her last breath. Heard her last words, and held her hand as she made the last feeble movement that she would make in this life. I didn't want to believe it and to this day, eight years later, I still dont want to believe that Bella Swan is dead. Sometimes I will sit and wonder for hours, would it be any easier on me if I, Jacob Black, wasn't the one who took her life away with my own two hands? I like to think no, she would be dead either way, it was the lesser of two evils.

I try not to think about it anymore, for my family's sake. My wife Lin put up with so much from me already, we've been married for three years, I was twenty-two and she was twenty. I can't explain how much I love her, and to mourn love lost so long ago has to be selfish. Not to mention our baby, Bo, he's one and a half now, and so full of energy. No, my teenage loves and losses cannot get involved in my life anymore. I'm a grown man and Bella is just a faint memory in the back of my mind. There's nothing left from my old life. I live in Canada now, up in the mountains. I own a small restauraunt with Lin. it has made me a good living and I honestly enjoy it. I should have been enjoying everything, my life didn't seem too far from perfect, but I just cant.

It wasn't very long ago, maybe a month now that I think about it (and I have been thinking about it an awful lot) that my life in hiding and denial was brought to an end. At first I didn't believe what I saw, it had been so long since the last time I had seen him, almost as long as Bella's death. It was Emilio, the bastard, the only person I ever truly hated. He looked so different with age that I almost wondered how I could be so sure. He had the same tanned skin and black hair but it was his eyes that gave him away. They were the most unpleasantly familiar thing I could remember about, well, anything of my past. Those pitch black trusting eyes were what ruined my life.

He approached me in the hardware store as if we had never met. He was holding a tomato in his hand, "excuse me," he said extending his free hand as if to shake mine. I would not give in to his kindness, "Names Kyle, the family and I just moved up here a few days ago."

A fake name, he thought he was being clever. Two could play that game, "Welcome to the neighbourhood, I'm Alan." It had to be one of the hardest things I had possibly ever done, greeting the enemy with a smile. If this turned into small talk I would surely kill myself.

It was like he could read my thoughts; he started making conversation, "Thank you. This move has been so hard on our family. My wife, she hates it, having to meet all new friends. Enrolling our kid into a new school where he knows nobody. It's tough," I was trying not to show my enragement at his story. I hoped he was done, but of course he continued, "Anyway Alan, your married right?"

I nodded sceptically.

"Kids?"

This time I was smarter, "No, not for us."

Something seemed to spark behind his eyes, "Hmm, you look like the fatherly type to me. But who am I to have an opinion on that. I don't even know you, Alan," The look he gave me said the complete opposite. Then he tossed his tomato in the air and gave me a knowing smirk. That one smirk told me everything, he knew who I was and he was back for revenge.

There was only one thing on my mind, get Lin and Bo and get away. As far away as possible.

A horrible thought then occured to me; what if he was going to my house right now. I let the bastard leave the hardware store before me. God, If he got my family...The thought made me cringe. I then realised something else; Lin was working at the restaurant and Bo was at daycare. Relief flooded through me as my clumsy fingers fumbled on my cell phone to call my wife.

Emilio couldn't know that much about be now. He couldn't know where I work. There's no way in hell he could know about Bo. I had to be okay for now, but it wouldn't last long. I had to take action. With my phone being held to my ear in one hand and the other fumbling for the keys to my truck, I sprinted out of the hardware store forgetting everything except the need to keep my family safe.


	2. A Panicked State

The trip across town was merely a few blocks away. I couldn't understand why it felt like hours to get to the restaurant. My heart was racing and my palms were sweaty on the steering wheel as I neared it. There, right ahead of me was the framiliar blue antique house that was that was home to some of the best foods in British Columbia (or so people say). Nothing looked out of the ordinary. Lin's red jeep was parked out front along with a few other vehicles, most of which I recognized. My tension was not eased by this. I brought my truck to a sudden stop that was not avoidable for the speed I was going, I jumped out of my truck and ran inside.

Entering the restaurant I was slightly winded. People turned from their meals to look at me curiously, I didn't blame them. I needed to find Lin.

Right on cue she emerged from the kitchen, her green eyes sparkling like they always did, "Jake! You said you weren't coming in till five today! Remember, you were going to fix that leak in the roof."

"I just wanted to check in on you, hun," I threw my shaking arms around her and then whispered in her ear so no one else could hear me, "We have to leave town. Like today."

Lin pulled away from me with concern on her face, "Are you okay? Jacob, we can't just leave town like that, we have a job here. It's nice you want a vacation."

"I'm not kidding. We have to go get Bo now and leave. I don't know where but it's too dangerous here."

"Your scaring me now," The concern on her face was morphed into fear, as if to prove what she said, "What's going on?"

I sighed painfully. God she was beautiful, "I cant explain now, but I will. I promise you Lin, come with me now and it will be the best decision you've ever made. If you stay here, god I can't even think of what will happen. I put you in danger by marrying you, Lin. My life, well it's so violent."

She seemed to be thinking things through thouroughly, "I'll go with you, if only because I trust you. I don't want to believe you've put us in danger. I thought your high school drama's were in the past though, Jake?'

"I thought so too, but there's no time for discussion. Marty will be okay running the restaurant for a while. Okay, let's go."

I grabbed Lin's hand and we were out of the reastaurant just as fast as I had entered. Lin attempted to protest, there were things she needed to do first. Naturally, I ignored her. She would thank me for it later. I looked back at her the wind had made a mess of her long blonde hair and her face was fixed into a hard expression. My god, I loved her so much.

It was like time had slowed down on the way to the day care. I was breaking all the driving laws, although I barely noticed. In the passenger seat Lin was shouting questions at me, I didn't answer her. I barely cared at the moment. There was plenty of time to explain everything to her when we were out of town. Right now I had to get Bo. It felt like the same situation all over again, except now it was Bo instead of Lin, not that I wasn't worrying about Bo the whole time. It was one of those feelings, I was more than positive he didn't know I had a son.

I was fuming inside. Why now? Why was that god forsaken man coming after my family now? I completely rebuilt everything. I was finally happy, and he has to come find me, for what? The bastard got what he wanted from me, unless...unless what? nothing made sense to me now. All I knew was that if that piece of scum tried to touch my family, he would pay with his life.

Finally, we reached the daycare centre. Despite my best efforts not to overanalyze the situation, something seemed more out of place here than the restaurant. I had to reassure myself over and over again that everything was alright. Finally I undid my seatbelt and gestured for Lin to get out of the truck.

Inside everything seemed wrong. It was too quiet. My heart began to race and senarios ran through my head. The worst possible ones. I knew I should have been faster, If I hadn't spent so much time in the god damn hardware store after Emilio left. A few minutes could change everything.

As if to prove my morbid thoughts correct, Janice, the childcare woman came running frantically down the hall towards Lin and I, "Oh god! I'm sorry!" She exclaimed hysterically, "I didn't know, then it was too late!"

Lin gripped my arm too tightly, I was horrorstruck and furious, "Shit! What the _hell_ happened here, Janice! Where's Bo!"

The woman seemed frozen in place. She was trying to control her emotions, "He said he was supposed to pick Bo up. He said that he was his uncle. I should have known! When Bo started crying, I shouldn't have been so stupid!"

Emilio. He took my son. It felt like my world was crashing down, like my heart would soon stop, "Did this man say anything else? Anything?"

Janice took a deep breath, "He said his name was Emilio and that I should tell you he said 'hi'. He told me that it's been a long time since he's seen you and wants to do some catching up. He didn't say where he was going though."

Lin, who had been so quiet in her shocked state squeezed my arm even harder than before at hearing Janice's story, "Emilio! What the hell, Jacob! Don't tell me this is the guy you've been hiding from for the past eight years! You said our family would be safe from him and your past! You lied to me Jake! Now our baby, _our _baby, is gone! He could be dead for all I know," She couldn't go on, she dropped to her knees and began to sob uncontrollably.

I couldn't talk, my tears were about to betray me, "Lin, he's okay," I managed to force these words out then,then it started to become easier again, "He wouldn't hurt him now. He's trying to lure me to him."

Lin didn't look reassured in the least, "We're not leaving town now, are we?"

I took a breath, this was not supposed supposed to happen, "Maybe you should leave Lin, but i'm staying, there's no doubt. I'll find our baby, I promise you that one thing."

"I'm not leaving without you," Lin protested crying even harder, "I would rather die, than leave you Jacob."

I knew she would insist on staying with me. I wasn't going to force her to leave, I believed every word she had said. Staying with me was the best, maybe even the safest thing for her to do right now.


	3. A Perfect Getaway

I slowly walked through the doorway of my dimly lit house, Lin tucked safely behind me. There was no sign of anyone else. I grabbed Lin's hand and turned the corner into the living room, I had a gun on top of the antique armoire in the corner specifically for this kind of situation. Quickly, I reached up, grabbed it and loaded it. It was small, just a shotgun.

It had been so long since I held a gun with a serious intention to fire it. What was it? Almost eight years, the same year I killed Bella. I didn't kill her with a gun though, no, it was a kitchen knife through the heart. I messed up though, I must have missed her heart, she didn't die instantly. I remember she fell to the floor with a thud, gasping for air, it sounded so wrong. I stood there over her, horrified, the blood soaked knife in my hand. I watched her dying movements as she thrashed on the floor trying ever so hard to grasp at her wound. I did nothing to save her or stop her suffering. It felt like forever before her body became motionless and her irregular, pained breathing ceased. There was so much blood. So much agony.

I had to get those thoughts out of my head. My morbid memories had a time and place, but for the time being I had to deal with the present.

I gave the main floor of the house a thorough sweep. I checked every room before I decided it was probably safe to go upstairs. I gestured for Lin to follow me.

Bo's bedroom was the room I was most worried about. Emilio was the type of sick man that would do that, although I really didn't think there was much of a difference whether he waited for me in Bo's room or anywhere else.

Slowly I eased the door open. My heart was racing as I pointed the gun inside the room. At first all I saw was the pale blue walls and white crib on the far wall. I looked into the corner that was obstructed from view by the door; nothing but a vacant rocking chair. I felt a wave of releif before I noticed a note taped to the chair.

Hurriedly, I grabbed the note, it was written in neat, cursive handwriting. The first time I just scanned the note barely reading it, then I went back and read it more carefully.

_Jacob, dear old friend,_

_It's been so long since we've seen each other, it almost seems like you've been avoiding me for the past eight years. I am sure that isn't true though. We were much too good of friends for that._

_I was just thinking about the days back in high school when we used to do buisness together. Remember, it was you, me, Vivian, Domnic, Kraven and Bella? God, everything was going so well until you killed you're girlfriend. I'm quite sure you remember that though, don't you, Jacob? Why in the bloody hell did you kill her? You know I would have done the job just as well Jacob, maybe even better. You did a good thing though, that's why I respected you so much. She was weak and she was a coward. The bitch was going to go to the police, not that that would have stopped us, right Jacob? We weren't weak like her, we were strong. The police couldn't have done anything. They were almost pitiful weren't they, Jacob?_

_But then you ran away, making me reconsider you. Maybe you were weak like her. Maybe you deserved to be dead too. But hell Jacob, you are some good at hiding. It almost hurts me to want to kill you, after all you did do your share in the day, before you disappeared on us. I am not going to kill you right away though, you should feel lucky, Jacob. This is because I am a man of honour and want to kill you fairly. Besides you still owe me for your cowardice. _

_This brings me to the point of our encounter this morning. Yes, I knew you recognized me, Jacob, so why the fake name and bullshit lies? It hurts me to know that you don't have enough trust with me to tell me about your son. He's quite precious, isn't he? You don't have to worry about him yet, Jacob. He's perfectly fine for now, but I just can't be sure how long that will last. So, I should hope you don't waste any time in finding us. I can assure you you do not want to get the police involved. It will be the last stupid decision you ever make, even though you'll be dead soon enough anyway, Your wife might have to suffer a bit too..._

_You know what's best, _

_Your friend, Emilio. _

This was bullshit. I furiously crumpled the letter up in my hands and threw it at the opposite wall. The man was insane. _Your friend, _the thought of those words made me sick. The nerve of him walking in on my life like that!

I couldn't control my anger as I knocked the rocking chair over. He was just here. Just in this room mere minutes ago. The letter was so long, it must have taken him a while to write, which meant he couldn't have gotten far, or maybe he was still here...The thought seemed so likely, as he wanted to be found. I pulled Lin tightly behind me, I never wanted her to leave my side again. I wouldn't be able to cope if both my baby and my wife were taken by my enemy.

The day was ending, twilight was upon us, very soon it would be pitch black outside. I turned to Lin, grabbing her hand in mine, "I think he's on our property still, maybe out in the barn."

"I'm so scared Jake," Lin replied, her face morphed into a fearful expression I had never seen before, "Don't let him hurt any of us, please."

"He won't hurt you guys. I can't promise that though. I can't promise anything. I wish I could lie to you and say everything will be okay, but it might not be. It might end very badly. If I die, Lin, I want you to be strong, okay? You can do that for me. Just take Bo and run, run to the police. He says he is stronger than them, and maybe he is, but only in numbers. I'm certain he's alone though, but I have been wrong before."

Lin was close to tears now, I could see that what I had just said hurt her more than any physical pain, "Please don't do this. I can't bear the thoughts, you_ wont_ die. If you do, I will die too."

My heart was twisting with the pain of seeing my wife like this. I embraced her tightly, never wanting to let her go. Her crying became louder as I kissed her jaw and moved down her face until I found her mouth. We kissed more passionately than I had ever remembered, it felt like a farewell to me, which it sort of was.

I slowly pulled away from her, looking at her tear stained face, "I love you, Lin, you know that. You know i've loved you since the day I met you, and will love you until the day I die. You were the best decision I ever made. I hope to god I don't die today or tomorrow, but I might. You always have to know I love you, and that my dying wish would be for you to get better and move on. I want you to continue doing what you love and raise our son. He will always need you to be there for him. If I die he wont remember me, that thought hurts so much."

"I love you too, Jacob Black, but I really think we should be looking for Bo right now."

"I know," I sighed sadly, "The poor kid. He really needs us right now. God, he's probably so hungry. I feel so awful."

"Don't. There's nothing you could have done. I remember from what you've told me about your past, which is really probably very little, Emilio is the most dangerous, evil and cunning man."

It was true. He was all of those things. I just had to find him and give myself up for my family. All would be well soon enough. If I killed the bastard and came out alive, even better.

"Let's check the barn," I decided with determination, "It's as good a place as any."

____________

We had wasted far too much time. I realised that later, after the barn was cleared by my gun and I had decided it was safe. I felt chocked. I had no idea what to do. Nothing made sense. Why would he want to hide in this town and wait for me to find him?

Then it was like a light bulb went off in my head. He wasn't here anymore. Why couldn't I have seen the god-damn truth earlier. He went back to Forks, the town I lived near to growing up. The town we did our so-called buisness in. The thought of our 'buisness' made me shudder. I had to get to Forks, and fast.

I could be there by morning, maybe sooner if I drove fast. My truck wasn't built for speed, but it would have to pull through for me now. I was mentally calculating the hours it would take to get there (5-7 hours? Maybe less?). I really didn't relocate that far away, now that I think about it. I mean, we live only about an hour away from the U.S border, of all the places we could have moved.

The trip took until daybreak to get there. We were lucky enough to make it to the border on time and without much hassle. We warned the guards of Emilio in case we crossed the border before him. We told them that he had our baby, despite his threats towards what he would do if I notified the authorities of him. Besides, they weren't police technically. After passing the border the ride became very long and tense, Lin and I barely talked to one another except to make a few rude remarks at each others expense. She would say something along the lines of 'drive faster, Jacob,' and I would say 'Shut up, bitch. Why don't you drive?' Those, I knew, were not wisely chosen words.

I could barely blame Lin for not wanting to converse with me after those snide comments started slipping out. I really just couldn't help myself as my mood just constantly got shittier and I become more anxious. God, the anxiety, it was the worst part of the whole ordeal. My heart was beating about a million beats per minute, I was sure I was on the verge of heat failure. Wouldn't that be convenient and ironic if I died before Emilio could get his hands on me, due to the simplest accidental death. Heart failure suddenly didn't seem like such a bad thing.

After what seemed like a lifetime, I could see the first signs of my hometown. I didn't like it. I felt something like a wave of nausea through me being back. It seemed like there were no happy memories here, it was like the awful ones erased them all. If I could have, I would have turned right around and gone all the way back home, instead I drove slowly through the town, my tainted memories flowing through my head like blood.


End file.
